When someone you love dies, you’re suddenly faced with so many things that need doing, including registering the death, notifying organisations, sorting paperwork, and planning a funeral sits right in the middle of all of it. These decisions feel overwhelming at a time when you’re least equipped to make them. One of the most important, and potentially confusing, is choosing the right funeral service to have.
There’s no “right” answer as everyone is different, but understanding the options can help you choose something that fits the person you are honouring and gives your family what they need to say goodbye.
Celebrant-Led Funerals: A Personal Tribute
This is where I come in, and it’s what I’m most passionate about.
A celebrant-led funeral is all about creating a ceremony that’s entirely personal to the person who’s died and the family left behind.
What makes it different?
Rather than following a set religious structure, we build the service around your loved one’s life, their personality, their values, and what mattered to them. We can include whatever elements feel right, including poems, music, readings, anecdotes, moments of reflection, even humour if that’s what suits them. Some families choose to include a prayer or hymn alongside secular content; others prefer no religious elements at all.
The positives:
- Complete flexibility – the service can be exactly what you want it to be
- Deeply personal – every word is about your loved one, not a generic script
- Inclusive – perfect for families with mixed beliefs or no religious affiliation
- Your choice of venue – crematorium, woodland, village hall, family home, anywhere that feels right
- No assumptions – we don’t impose beliefs or expect everyone to share the same view
Things to consider:
- You’ll need to be more involved in planning (though I guide you through every step)
- It requires a bit more thought about what you want to include
- Some older relatives might expect a traditional religious service
The beauty of celebrant-led funerals is that they completely personal. Whether someone lived a quiet life or an extraordinary one, whether they were deeply spiritual or firmly atheist, we create something that is perfect for them.
Faith-Led Funerals: Traditional Religious Services
These are conducted by religious ministers such as priests, vicars, rabbis or imams, following the traditions and liturgy of that faith.
What makes it different?
The service follows a structure rooted in religious beliefs about death and what comes after. There’ll be prayers, scripture readings, and rituals specific to that faith tradition.
The positives:
- Familiar and comforting if the deceased and family share that faith
- Clear structure – you know what to expect
- Spiritual comfort for those who believe
- Community support from the faith community
- Sense of tradition and continuity
Things to consider:
- Less flexibility in the format and content
- Might not feel right if the deceased wasn’t religious or the family has mixed beliefs
- Can feel generic if the minister didn’t know your loved one well
- Some families find there’s not enough space for personal stories and memories
Funerals: Non-Religious Ceremonies
Humanist funerals are conducted by trained Humanist celebrants who are accredited by Humanist UK (formerly the British Humanist Association).
What makes it different?
These are explicitly non-religious ceremonies that celebrate the life lived without reference to an afterlife or spiritual beliefs. They focus entirely on the person’s human relationships and achievements.
The positives:
- Clearly non-religious – perfect if that’s important to you
- Personal and meaningful
- Professional celebrants with specific humanist training
- Focuses on the life lived rather than what comes after
Things to consider:
- Strictly no religious content – not even a prayer for elderly relatives who might want one
- Less flexibility if you want to blend beliefs
- Must be explicitly what the family wants; won’t suit those seeking any spiritual element
The key difference between celebrant-led and humanist funeral is that the humanist option is always non-religious, whereas a celebrant-led funeral can be anything from entirely secular to gently spiritual, with room to include whatever feels right for your family.
Direct Cremation: The Simplest Option
This isn’t really a type of funeral service, it’s the choice to have no service at all at the crematorium.
What it involves:
The cremation happens without any ceremony or attendees. The family receives the ashes afterwards and can then arrange a memorial gathering if they wish.
The positives:
- Most affordable option
- No pressure to arrange things quickly
- Flexibility – you can plan a memorial gathering in your own time, in a way that suits your family
- Removes the stress of organising a traditional funeral during early grief
Things to consider:
- You don’t get to see your person or say goodbye at the crematorium
- No formal closure for those who find ritual important
- You’ll need to arrange a separate gathering if you want people to come together
- Some family members might feel they’ve not had a “proper” funeral
Many families who choose direct cremation do host a memorial gathering or celebration of life later, and that’s where a celebrant can still help create something meaningful.
So Which is Right?
Honestly?
The right funeral is the one that feels right to you and honours your loved one.
Some questions that might help:
- What would they have wanted?
- What does your family need to say goodbye?
- What beliefs (if any) matter to you?
- What will help you remember them as they really were?
If you’re in North Yorkshire or County Durham and you’d like to talk through your options, I’m always happy to have a chat with no obligation. Sometimes just talking it through with someone who’s not emotionally involved can help clarify what feels right. You can contact me HERE
Whatever you choose, the most important thing is that it honours the person you loved, and gives you and your family what you need to begin healing.